sara * kissimmee * 22 * single

english degree holder, lipstick enthusiast, florida native, natural redhead. currently working for universal studios orlando. i like white wine and pretending to be cool. if you like blogs made up of queued posts you'll definitely be a fan of this one. welcome to the jungle.

jello shot(s)










doritosmakeherdance:

"Does she get drunk and ruin family parties?"



jordosross:

nickandjades-infinitelaughter:

Me as a parent

"This is why dad left"

jordosross:

nickandjades-infinitelaughter:

Me as a parent

"This is why dad left"






randomstupidchaos:

beckaford:

micahelizabeth:


“Eat” the damn Play-doh cookies.
Slurp the invisible soup.
Pretend that they’re not causing grievous bodily harm as they “brush” your hair.
Always be serious when asked what you’d like for dinner, and never say something silly like rabbit soup. Because they will go get their stuffed one off the bed, put it in your best pot, and fill said pot with water. Then place it on your desk.
Greet their make believe friends and ask how their day was.
Always kiss the teddy bear goodnight. It has feelings too.
Always pretend to die when they shoot you.
If you are having a fake war with them and you shoot them and they say they can’t die because they are invincible, you don’t shoot them again, because they are invincible.
Yes, their drawing does look like a butterfly, not a bunch of jumbled up lines.
Them pounding on the piano is the best thing you have ever heard.

THISTHISTHISTHIS

no but seriously it’s very important to a child’s development to not be shut down by parents and other caregivers

The only thing I disagree with is the invincibility one ‘cause if my kid said they were invincible, I’d fake shoot them again in disbelief and continue to be amazed as they shrug off my fake bullets and fake kill me.

randomstupidchaos:

beckaford:

micahelizabeth:

  • Eat” the damn Play-doh cookies.
  • Slurp the invisible soup.
  • Pretend that they’re not causing grievous bodily harm as they “brush” your hair.
  • Always be serious when asked what you’d like for dinner, and never say something silly like rabbit soup. Because they will go get their stuffed one off the bed, put it in your best pot, and fill said pot with water. Then place it on your desk.
  • Greet their make believe friends and ask how their day was.
  • Always kiss the teddy bear goodnight. It has feelings too.
  • Always pretend to die when they shoot you.
  • If you are having a fake war with them and you shoot them and they say they can’t die because they are invincible, you don’t shoot them again, because they are invincible.
  • Yes, their drawing does look like a butterfly, not a bunch of jumbled up lines.
  • Them pounding on the piano is the best thing you have ever heard.

THISTHISTHISTHIS

no but seriously it’s very important to a child’s development to not be shut down by parents and other caregivers

The only thing I disagree with is the invincibility one ‘cause if my kid said they were invincible, I’d fake shoot them again in disbelief and continue to be amazed as they shrug off my fake bullets and fake kill me.







please be as weird as me please be as weird as me please be as weird as me


— me every time I meet someone (via miel-lapin)



dreamingof-disney:

I WOULD HAVE SCREAMED OH MY GOD



samlicker87:

This is still my favorite comic ever

samlicker87:

This is still my favorite comic ever




Me and Drakes first date

Drake: And that's when I said first of all Barack, I'm mixed, but enough about me. I wanna know about you. *boops my nose*

Me: Well, I do not like the beach because I do not like sand or crustaceans but I do personally feel very connected to the ocean. I actually feel as if I may be mixed with mermaid.

Drake: That's so interesting. You are such a well rounded individual. Please, tell me more about you.

Me: I am very afraid of the dark.

Drake: A few years back I read a passage that said something like "You're not afraid of the dark, you're afraid of what is inside of the dark." I just thought that was so beautiful.

Me: ... Are you getting smart with me?

Drake: Not at all I ju-

Me: *loudly* Please do not come for me Mr. Graham I know what the hale I'm scared of!

Drake: ... that was extremely arousing and I'd like to take you home if that's okay with you.

Me: You pickin up the tab?

Drake: *nods*

Me: *puts the basket of rolls in my bag* Get the check.




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